Thursday, February 10, 2005


Tom Boswell is a big fat idiot!

Good old Boz, the groundhog of the Washington Post, who after spending the last thirty-four years seeing his shadow and annually deciding that Major League Baseball was imminently returning to Washington, has now taken up the cudgels for MLB against Jose Canseco.

Canseco, one of the more despicable idiots to play our national past-time, has outed several ballplayers as users of illegal steroids. Boswell in his February 8 column asks the pointed question:

[Canseco] The former slugger lied for years about his own steroid use, so why would we suddenly believe he's telling the truth when he smears Mark McGwire, Ivan Rodriguez, Rafael Palmeiro and Juan Gonzalez with accusations of being juiced?

Perhaps we should believe him because he was a steroid user.

It is rare when a person of high moral fiber and impeccable reputation rats out his friends and/or co-workers. Noted authority on rats, Joe Valachi, the Mafia informer, said:

In the circle in which I travel, a dumb man is more dangerous than a hundred rats.

Valachi was eminently qualified in this area because he was dumb as well as a rat. He also said:

You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy.

Sammy "the Bull" Gravano, another Mafia rat, admitted to playing a part in the murder of 19 people. The Bull's testimony helped send John Gotti, Vincent "the Chin" Gigante, Thomas Gambino, and numerous other "pillars of the community" to federal penitentiaries. John Dean, Richard Nixon's in-house shyster, testified before the Senate Watergate committee as to his boss' various criminal conspiracies (in which he, Dean, took an active role) and helped (thankfully) drive him from office. In short, squealers are not normally members of the Little Sisters of the Poor; they are slimy creatures who turn on their own kind in exchange for immunity from prosecution, money, fame, or all of the above.

But Boz doesn't see this obvious truth, he says:

Whether the claims are true or not, Canseco's motives are so tainted that his charges are doubly suspect. In a court of law, his testimony would be wildly inadmissible. But even in our current slipshod court of public opinion, he may find that his scattershot charges may be mocked.

No, Canseco's claims would admissible in a court of law, particularly his eyewitness testimony that he, personally, helped St. Mark McGwire shoot up with steroids in a bathroom stall.

Boz hastens to defend McGwire an admitted user of the now banned substance andro, a steroid precursor, because Canseco is a bad man (a convicted wife-beater) who used steroids himself. I am reminded of the furor that occurred in 1970 when Jim Bouton in his book Ball Four exposed St. Mickey Mantle as an amphetamine popping, alcoholic lout. Bouton was attacked viciously as a liar, a drunk, and a washed-up pitcher exposing his Yankee teammates for money (He wasn't invited back to Yankee Stadium until 1998). Perhaps Bouton who has been vindicated in his accusations over the years should have been consulted by Boz on steroid use. When asked if the number of players using steroids surprised him, he replied:

No, not at all. How could I be surprised? In the 1970s, half of the guys in the big leagues were taking greenies, and if we had steroids, we would have taken those, too. I said in "Ball Four," if there was a pill that could guarantee you would win 20 games but would take five years off of your life, players would take it. The only thing I didn't know at the time was the name.

Boz, wake up and smell the coffee. Baseball is back in Washington (at last) and baseball players have and will cheat if given the opportunity.

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